Chloe+H's+page

//This is my story about the standoff with the daughter and father (father is the one being held hostage)....// 1.   This idea came from the mentor text about the hold up between a man and his daughter as his hostage. What I did is switched the roles in the news story (making the daughter the one who held the father hostage). But I couldn’t do that without having a reason for the hold up. So I came up with the scenario that this girl has an abusive father. From there I just started developing the character as I went, making her sad life intertwined with the news story. 2.   To improve this writing I would probably make Karin’s (the character) background more in depth, maybe more examples as why she decided to do what she did. Also I could maybe next time choose a longer mentor text because this article was a bit smaller than the others, which made it harder to create a larger story and incorporating more lines into the story. 3.   This story is like my mentor text because I literally took every line from the story and either kept them in the story or slightly tweaked the line to match the background text. Although I did add an extra line to finish off the story (which I thought wrapped the story up). As said earlier I did switch the main plot of the news story around (made the father the victim and the daughter the suspect).

I have changed the story based on responses given. [|LA paper final 2.wps]